So, my youngest turned 2 on Tuesday... Gosh, it doesn't seem like it's been that long. But then, sometimes it feels as though a lifetime has gone by in that short amount of time. I have watched her grow from a wiggling bundle of skin and hair, to an articulate, sunny little person, and it never ceases to amaze me how much she has changed in just 24 short months. Certain things it seems she learned to do overnight, while others took quite a bit longer. Dad, did it seem that way with us? Blink and you miss it all? I never ceases to amaze me. It was the same with my older daughter, but then I missed much of her life. My own fault, of course, but still... And now it seems that she is progressing by leaps and bounds. I am so proud of her! But I regret the time I didn't have with her. I know that life is not about regret, but fixing your mistakes, but I watch what is happening with the younger one and I can't help but feel that I missed out... That's really selfish isn't it? Horrible, but that's how I feel. I make no apologies. I know that she missed out on time with me as well, but the time she would have had with me would have been tainted, and irreparable, and that's not what I want a relationship with my kids to be about. I don't know if any of this makes sense, but it feels better to get it out. And as I really can't remember to write in a journal, this is the closest thing I have...
-As always, I love you Dad. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods.
Aw sweetie... I blinked a lot - I didn't realize it at the time - but I do now. Yes all you can do is make the most of what you have right now - I know you love both of your kids - with all your heart. You have fought back from a deep place - I am so proud of you. I love you (and the other two as well) with all my heart. Each of you has a special place. You know what I'm talking about - that wasn't a question, it was a statement of fact :)
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